There are no words that rhyme with Orange, so I had to florange one.

I saw this image on Martha Barnette’s blog and thought it was really funny and would be a great T-shirt. What a conversation starter at a party it would be! Martha Barnette co-hosts ‘A way with Words on KPBS with Richard Lederer, in San Diego.

Anyway, I was looking around on the internet to see what the story is about the word Orange and any rhyming words. I thought of the word ‘Florange’. Armed with no idea what it meant I decided to search Google to see if anyone else might have thought of it as a rhyme for Orange.

They have.

I found a site called ‘Urban Dictionary’, a slang dictionary, which allows you to create a word and then define its meaning. Visitors can give thumbs up or thumbs down for the definition of the word. Check out ‘Florange’ on the site.

I mentioned this to Maggie, she mentioned that there may be a medical word that rhymes with Orange. She couldn’t remember what it was and if it exists.

Any ideas anyone?

The re-education of the Irish driver

While we made our trip home from Naas yesterday my brother mentioned that the standard of Irish drivers and their driving is something that you need to see to believe.

There has been a major expansion of the road from Co. Dublin to Co. Kildare which is due to finish soon, one of the reasons is that the Ryder cup is taking place at the K Club golf course later this year.  Anyway as we drove back my brother pointed out that there were now three lanes on the road, or motorway, open and all of the cars were in two lanes.   There was not one car in the inside lane.

Why?

Is it because Irish drivers are not used to driving on roads with more than one or two lanes?  Or is it a psychological thing?  Is it because they consider the inside lane a ‘slow’ lane and therefore not for them?

I’m not an expert in these matters, and I’m not going into a lot of detail on this post.  I’ll say this, I would consider the standard of driving by the average Irish driver as being bad to dangerous.  This is based on what I see on the roads everyday.   The attitude of Irish drivers is one of ‘I’m okay, you’re not okay’ when it comes to driving.  Here’s an example:
One evening I was driving home from work.  I was joining the M50 from Blanchardstown, the M50 was very busy as usual and as a result I was driving slowing along waiting for a time to merge with the other lines of traffic.  An opportunity presented itself, I signaled and prepared to merge.  I leaned forward to look in my wing mirror (I always do this out of habit, to be sure I’ve not missed anything that might be in a blind spot), and I saw a van race up to close the gap that I was about to enter.  I thought this was funny, but in a tragic way.  As the van passed me, the two gentlemen inside were looking over at me with a self-satisfied grin on their face.  I didn’t respond, I thought to myself, ‘why bother’.   I gave them a polite but firm look that conveyed the message, ‘your must be very proud of yourself’.

The car behind the van let me pull in, I gave a wave to acknowledge the gesture and them moved into the outside lane.  This would make it easier for me to get to the easy pass lane at the toll bridge.  As I passed the van, I looked over at the two guys in the van, they were looking at me and for some reason they had a look on their faces that I had in some way done them a great wrong!  I pulled away and went on with my day.

There were no markings on the van.  If there had been any sign writing on the van to advertise a business then what sort of message would that convey to any potential customers, i.e. me.

People just don’t think enough about their actions.  And that is just sad.

What can we do to re-educate the Irish driver?  How do you change attitudes like this?

Where do you start?

Pride.

Saturday was the 32nd Annual San Diego LGBT Pride Celebration.  It’s a massive event with over 150,000 (curious) spectators attending.  Maggie told me that the parade route went right outside our her apartment.  She said it was one of the most scintillating parades she was ever seen.

I wish I were there because I know the craic would be mighty at NuNu’s bar and downtown SD.

Can you hear me now?

I had to bring my sisters car home to her today.  She was very good to give me a loan of it for more than one week.  So I took my nephew and niece with me.  I had to stop off at my mum’s house to pick up a gift that I left there.

My mum decided that she wanted to come along for the drive.  I had arranged with my brother that he would follow us down and pick us up, so I hoped he would have the foresight to bring the ‘larger car’ with him, or somebody would have to walk home, and it wouldn’t be me.

I phoned my brother to tell him that we would have an extra body, and the call was a difficult one because my phone is knackered (end of life), and it sounds like I’m in a tunnel all the time.  Anyway, he had taken the bigger car.

My sister has lots of phones.  She offered me a Nokia flip phone to use.  I thought ‘that’s decent of her’, but wondered if I could go for gold.  ‘Are you using the silver Nokia?’ She wasn’t and she gave it to me to use for the time being.

Cha-ching!

I think it says in the bible that ‘he who does not ask does not get’.  Its somewhere towards the back of it!

The sun will come out (sometime), bet your bottom dollar!

It had to happen. We had a good run and we don’t want to get too used to it. The weather was so good you might start to expect it to last longer, and that just wouldn’t be right.

If it wasn’t raining the majority of the time we might start spending more time outside and continue to pump large amounts of BBQ smoke into the atmosphere, and that just won’t do.

Its a pity that it is raining so much today. My nephew, he’s ten, is going to his first concert with his parents tonight. Billy Joel is playing in Croke Park. I don’t think the rain will dampen his spirits though.

You mgiht ntocie soemtihng funny aobut tihs…

“Acocdrnig to an elgnsih unviesitry sutdy the oredr of letetrs in a wrod dosen’t mttaer, the olny thnig thta’s iopmrantt is that the frsit and lsat ltteer of eevry word is in the crcreot ptoision. The rset can be jmbueld and one is stlil able to raed the txet wiohtut dclftfuiiy.”

Now read this text again, paying attention to each word and you’ll probably notice “some” typing errors

Bet she can’t do anything cool with rocks.

Maggie sent me an email with this. It’s really cool. Probably a waste of time in a windy environment, but cool nonetheless.

You can view more at http://www.sandfantasy.com

Something to read in the bog?

bog |bäg; bôg|

noun

1 wet muddy ground too soft to support a heavy body : the island is a wilderness of bog | a peat bog figurative | a bog of legal complications. • Ecology wetland with acid, peaty soil, typically dominated by peat moss.

2 (usu. the bog) Brit., informal a bathroom.

Ireland’s National Museum said Wednesday that a 1,200-year-old Book of Psalms found by a construction worker in a bog was comparable in archaeological significance to “an Irish equivalent to the Dead Sea Scrolls.”

I’m going to have a good search around my bog later to see what I can find.

Boom Boom.

Pretty amazing.  For more click here

The road is long

I started back at work on Monday July 24^th.  As I dove along the

Snugborough Road

which leads to the Industrial Park where I work I was surprised to see that the construction that had started in 2005 to widen the road and install a bus corridor had still not been completed.

 

I don’t think that they will be finished until September or later. 

 

It’s hard to believe that it is taking so long to install a bus corridor and widen the existing road. 

 

Construction commenced in September 2005. 

 

Shocking!

I can’t complain…

Thirty-two will remain a benchmark year. Now that I’m in the wee hours of my thirty-third year I hope that it brings more good adventures.

A summary of thirty-two:

Visited Italy four times.
Visited the U.S.A twice (I think!)
Drove from Dublin to San Remo, in a two and half days.
Achieved top of class status in Sales School (work thing).
Maggie lived with me in Ireland from June to September (Highlight)
Took six months off work and went to live with Maggie in San Diego (Another Highlight)

Worked in an Italian restaurant; as a cook (of sorts)

Started a blog.
All in all a fantastic year, I can’t wait for more adventures.

Here’s a picture of how Maggie and I would look if we were cartoon characters.

Parents say the craziest things!

According to my Mum starvation never killed anyone.
Starvation!

I won’t go into the details of the crazy conversation, except to say that she’s considering it as a way for my father to lose weight.

I’m going to have to keep an eye on them.

Arriving home. Part two.

So I’m home over a week now.  The past week has been fairly busy.  The day after I arrived home my brother drove me to Naas to see my sister.  She was happy enough to give me a loan of her car for the week and I was happy to take it.

I’ve been looking for a car to buy, but as yet have made no decision.  A few people have asked ‘are you sorry you sold your last car?’ The answer is ‘no, not at all’.

When I arrived in Dublin airport and walked into the arrivals area, Sis-in-law and the gang was waiting for me.  We managed to miss each other; how we did this I don’t know.  Sis-in-law thinks it may have happened like this:

The moment before I walked out, ‘McSmelly’(the smallest of the gang at two years old), dropped a sign she was holding.  This distracted everyone in the group, so as they all decided to help her.  Just then I walked out, and because they were not looking in my direction didn’t see me and I didn’t see them. 

(the images are small because they were taken on a phone).

Sis-in-law is a smart cookie.  She decided to take some pictures of them before I arrived.  She told me that people passed them saying ‘oooohhhhh so cute!’

I after the hugs we brought the cart with the luggage out to the car, now with the added weight of the two lads sitting on top of it.  I was still carrying the fragile item and was still a little concerned that it made the trip in one piece.

We got home and I gave the gang some gifts that Maggie sent over, all very happy.  Skipping ropes, cars, board games etc, all went down a treat.

I unwrapped the fragile item to check its status.  I took off the bubble wrap.  This sent Sis-in-law and the gang into a frenzy.  I felt like I was holding a pile of food and they hadn’t eaten for four days.  I feared for my life, so I threw the bubble wrap to the ground and let them at it.  Pop! Pop! Pop! Sis-in-law remarked ‘this is good bubble wrap, it has big bubbles!’

I wonder if the bubble wrap would have been enough?

Anyway, the fragile item made it in one piece.  What is it?  Well my brother was in the market for a new computer.  He was considering a Dell Desktop.  I balked at that idea. Why not consider something like an iMac that will fit nicely in the office.  When he came to visit we checked them out.  He thought about it and called me before I came home, ‘Okay lets make the switch’.  So I’m sure you can imagine my concern, I didn’t really want the hassle of presenting a broken or cracked machine.

Everything works fine.  The gang have made me feel very welcome and even made me a cake with a little plastic me on top!

This Irish Life

I’ve changed the name of the blog again.  I decided that after I left San Diego that I would continue to write.  I thought I’d change the name, but couldn’t really think of anything appropriate, I wasn’t very happy with ‘Dirty Dublin Diary’.  I was thinking of ‘This Primates Life’, but have decided to go with ‘This Irish Life’.

Well at least I don’t have stationary or apparel to worry about.

What do you think about the new name, like it or no?

Funniest thing I said today @ 9:00am GMT

I was talking with Maggie this morning.  I was telling her that I’ve been listening to KPBS on the internet.  I leave it on in the background.  The BBC World Service will be broadcasting from downtown San Diego on Thursday.  I would love to go down to see that.  BBC World Service is cool.  We were talking away and this is an excerpt from our conversation.

Maggie: You know that I have really struck a chord with you.

Me: You know what the chord sounds like?

Maggie: No.

Me: Whiiinnneeee.

It took a couple of seconds but Maggie got it.

Now I’m in trouble.

‘Get my braces and shirt with big white cuffs and collar to match’

What am I talking about?  The 80s, that’s what.

I bought a USB phone so I could talk to Maggie via Skype.  I went down to PC World to purchase a phone and got the item below.

It reminds me of the phones of the 80s and early 90s.  They are ‘designed’ to look ‘cool’ and ‘really trendy’ and to make the person who ‘thinks’ they are cool and trendy to purchase it.

Needless to say I bought it because I’m cool and trendy, and in my head I look like this when I use it.

close my eyes…

This is the view from my room in Dublin. It is 75 degrees today.  The weather today is similar to San Diego.

I’m listening to KPBS radio on the Internet and it could almost pass for San Diego.

Blockage in the hose…

Its 7pm in San Diego and 3am in Dublin. I’ve woken up and I’m having some difficulty getting back to sleep. When I woke up I had various thoughts in my head. A thought about Atlantic Homecare was one of them.

Earlier on today five people, not including myself went to Atlantic Homecare to pick up some tiles for my Mum. The place was packed with people.

Every checkout had a long line. What struck me as soon as I walked in to the joint was the thought that we had come at the wrong time. We wouldn’t be getting out of here in a hurry.

Luckily my Mum had picked and paid for the tiles some time ago. All we had to do was collect the tiles and load them into the cars. We needed to find a customer service representative to collect the tiles and bring them out to us.

That was easier said than done.

As you walk into the joint there are approximately eight to ten check out registers on the right. On the left is a customer service desk.

I noticed straight away that the checkout line closest to the door had a really long line with a young lady at the helm. She was standing up holding an orange plastic thing, (turned out to be top bit of a garden hose), above her head, trying to get the attention of someone from the customer service desk across the way. I took me one second to realize that she was looking for the price for the item, because it appeared that it wasn’t scanning correctly. The long line was spilt. Some were watching her and some were watching the customer service desk.

When someone from the customer service desk looked over at her she said something like, ‘How much is this item?’ The person at the customer service desk gave an exasperated look, rolled her eyes, shrugged her shoulders and went back to talking to her colleague behind the counter.

There was also a line of people at the customer service counter.

A shop floor person walked by and the girl at the check-out caught his eye and asked,

‘Can you assist me?’

His response as he passed by was to hold up a piece of paper and say ‘Customer!’

He kept on walking.

It appeared to me that everyone who was working there today did not enjoy his or her job. They ‘appeared’ no to enjoy dealing with people. They didn’t ‘appear’ to enjoy talking to people and they didn’t ‘appear’ to understand that they are a team and if they worked together they would have more success and the day would be much easier.
Why do people work in that kind of environment? Why does the organization allow this kind of environment to develop? I have my answers and I’m sure you do too.

I was distracted by something my Niece decided to do with a deck chair that looked like fun. I don’t know how much the item was so that’s going to remain forever a mystery.

Hermaphrodite Cat…

A recent comment about a previous post concerning hermaphrodite cats:

 ”i know you’re all joking about hermaphrodite cats but i own a hermaphrodite cat who is having urinary tract problems as she/he ages. if anyone has any pertinent information to this condition i would appreciate it, since our overworked vets here have no time to research such a peculiar condition.”

If anyone has any information that might be useful send it to me and I’ll post here for Paul Morais.  Thanks.

Arriving home. Part one.

I arrived at San Diego airport at 1:20pm on Wednesday afternoon with Maggie. I checked two bags and had two carry on bags, one with my laptop and the other with a fragile piece of computer equipment. “Have you got any fragile stickers?” I asked the lady behind the counter. “No. We should have but we don’t.” I thought nothing of it thinking I could be careful with the item.

Maggie and I went our separate ways, for now. She will come to Dublin for two weeks in April, so I expect to see her in three weeks or so. Still, it was hard to walk away

I passed through security with ease and sat down at the departure gate and waited for boarding. The guy behind me was from Dublin. I could tell from the accent, lots of ‘d’ya know what I mean?’ and ‘deadly!’ at the end of every sentence. He was talking to another gentleman about a conference they had been at for the week. The guy from Dublin said something about DB/2 databases, and system administration and a third party company who was making a bundle of money out of add-ons to DB/2 software. I moved to another seat.

The American eagle flight took about thirty minutes of actual flying time. I was annoyed because the flight attendant wouldn’t let me carry on one of my bags, the one with the fragile item, so I asked if he had any fragile stickers or labels and he didn’t. I had to bring the bag back down the steps of the plane and hand it two the guy who loads it into the cargo-hold. I asked him to take care of it because it was fragile. He gave me a blank look and took the bag and tossed it onto the cart. I was worried about the condition of the items. My view of American Eagle is now similar to that of Ryan Air; low to digging in the dirt.

My flight with Aer Lingus was smooth. No issues with security or departure times. I arrived back in Dublin at 11:00am on Thursday morning. The flight was a little early and we couldn’t pull into our gate because there was a plane getting ready for departure. So we sat on the tarmac for about five minutes.

I’m not one to jump out of my seat when the plane arrives, I’m happy to wait and let people who have connecting flights leave before me. I was the same this time, but I was eager for the plane to get to its parking space. Just sitting on the tarmac bothered me.

Lovely morning in Dublin, the sun was shining with a nice breeze, which was nice.

My bags came out fairly quickly, I had just arrived at the belt so I grabbed them and put them on a trolley. I made my way out to the arrivals hall. I knew my sis-in-law was going to pick me up along with my nephew’s and nieces. I walked out expecting to hear them. Nothing. I scanned the crowd of people looking in my direction. Nothing. ‘Must be late’, I thought. Not to worry, I can wait. I walked by the crowd and then noticed a group of people standing at the barrier with banners. How they missed me arriving and how I missed them when I walked out I’ll never know. Anyway they were delighted to see me and I was ecstatic to see them.

NEXT: Did the fragile item make it in one piece?

Welcome to the Dublin Diary…

Jetlag sucks.