Posted by: blogone | December 22, 2006

A cool way to answer a question

My nephew asked me today, “What’s it like presenting in front of people?”

I looked at him and rubbed my chin, to make it look like I was thinking hard, I suspected that he wasn’t buying it, so I told him,

Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity to get your message across, would you capture it, or just let it slip?
My palms get sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy. There usually vomit on my sweater, your mom’s spaghetti. I’m nervous, but on the surface I look calm and ready, to pass messages, sometimes I forget what I wrote down, the audience goes so loud, my mouth opens but the words won’t come out, I’m chokin, they’ll all joke now, the clocks run out, time’s up. Snap back to reality, oh there goes gravity, oh there goes Al, he didn’t get his message across, but I won’t give up. It don’t matter, I’m dope, I know that, but the projector broke, I’m so stacked that when I go back to my cubicle, that’s when it’s back to training room six again, better go capture this content and hope it comes off the white board now.

He looked at me with a blank expression, so I continued,

My delegates are escaping, through the door that is gaping, this world is mine for the taking, make me advisory, as we move towards a new team order, dot com life is boring, but a rock star trainers life’s close to post mortom. It only grows harder, only grows hotter.

I knew I was reaching him when his eyes narrowed and he gave me nod to continue, I didn’t need a second invitation,

No more training, I’m a change agent what you call adamant tear the roof off like blue squadron uncaged, I was training in the beginning but the mood all changed, I’ve been chewed up and spit out and booed off stage but I kept trainin and kept writin the next course best believe that someone is payin the pied piper all this pain inside amplified by the fact that I can’t get by with a 5.0 on my evaluation and I can’t get a one in my rating, and it ain’t no movie there’s no Makai Pheiffer, this is my Irish Life and these time are so hard and its getting even harder tryin to get people into rooms, plus manage deal with colleagues who are a pre-madonna fool screamin on and too much for me to wanna stay in one spot, another day of store room slop I’ve got to formulate a plot or end up in sales or not, feet fail me not this presentation may be the only opportunity that I’ve got.

My nephew said, “forget I asked’.

I really should stop listening to Eminem in the car. 🙂

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